Monday, April 7, 2014

Disrupting the Cycles of Heteronormative Socialization



Activity occurs once
Throughout my involvement in sport I have not experience many micro- aggressions that made me really step up and take action. Growing up playing youth and competitive soccer I never was educated on what micro-aggressions were which is probably why I never noticed how harmful and inaccurate phrases harm others. It wasn’t until I entered college where I first played soccer with an openly lesbian and bi-sexual teammate.  As a freshmen being the ‘newbie’, I wanted to make sure that I built friendships with all of my teammates.
My first initial thoughts while in the locker room with my team were, are my teammates going to be checking me out when I change in front of them or shower in front of them. But after two weeks of double days those thoughts quickly were removed. In that first week of double days I began to really get to know my teammates on a more personal level. During those beginning weeks we shared our stories and really had the chance to get to know each other on and off the field. I realized that because my two teammates had attraction to girls didn’t change their ability to play soccer and didn’t change who they are as people. As the school year went by, I had taken a few classes that educated me on providing a more equitable and inclusive learning environment. By taking these classes they began to provide me more background on situations that I might encounter.  

During college I have developed a larger understanding about the ‘queer community’ and would like to say that I am on my journey to becoming an allie. I have always been open to meeting new people and accepting who they are and their beliefs. I was never aware how strong the use of personal pronouns could affect people until our class on Wednesday. The rest of the week I tried to be more conscious of my use of personal pronouns when referring to people. It is very difficult to identify my use of personal pronouns because certain personal pronouns are so ingrained in my language it was difficult to catch. Within the time frame given for this blog, I was not able to have the chance to ‘step-up’ when I heard micro-aggressions because I was never in a situation where could have made a difference. While watching TV over the weekend, I heard many micro-aggressions. When I heard these micro-aggressions it was challenging to disrupt the cycle because the actors on television weren’t going to be able to hear what I say. I found it very frustrating that I could not ‘step-up’ and address the situation.  And I think even if I did try to address the situation the actors are in character and the show does not reflect who they really are.
Since trying to address the issues that were occurring on television were going to be impossible to disrupt. I had conversations with my family and friends about the use of personal pronouns using the example of “you guys” when referring to a group. I wanted to know their opinions about the use of personal pronouns. The conversations that I had were very interesting and eye opening. The conversations would begin with the idea of using the phrase ‘you guy’ which lead to many different conversations around the ‘queer community.’ I did get into conversations where family and friends disagreed and had strong opinions about the ‘queer community’.  Such as one conversation lead to how they don’t think it is right that some states are allowing multi-sex restrooms. The person that I spoke with spoke strongly on how they think it is wrong and that this change can lead to higher rape crimes. I tried to guide the conservation around transgendered individuals but that became a even more touching subject with even more disagreement.

In my journey now I struggle to understand how people have such strong opinions and think that it is a “choice to be like that.” Hearing the word that is a ‘choice’ is really troublesome for me.  When I heard that phrase ‘it is a choice’ I just wanted to ask, how do you know it is a choice? I wanted to challenge those I talked with by asking,  ‘so it is your choice to be straight?’ and the question of ‘how did you know when you were straight?’ During my conservations I had these thoughts just running through my mind but did not have the courage to ask. I was fearful of causing an argument and causing tension with friends that I have had for many of years. At this stage of my journey disrupting the cycle I find most challenging for myself. I feel more comfortable talking about the social issue but when it comes to people disagreeing and some of the reasons why they disagree, I have a hard time accepting their point of view.  In the end, even though I did not witness incidences of "micro-aggression"/"causal oppression.” I do feel as if I did create some awareness of the social issue topic.

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