Do Dreams Really Come True?

My name is Maria Ramos I am 26-year-old Hispanic mother of two wonderful children.  Today I would like to share with you my story and the hurdles I deal with on a daily basis and a new barrier that I have come to face.

As a child I grew up in South Stockton on the other side of Highway 4. Just as I was about to enter high school when I found out that I was pregnant with my first child Jessica who is now twelve years old.  I was devastated and shocked that I have fallen into the typical stereotype of a “Teen Mom” (Simigiu & Henter, 2013). At this point in my life I was still living at home with my parents and the father of my child was out of the picture. My parents told me that they would help me raise my daughter but once I turned 18, I would have to be fully independent and move out.  If it weren’t for my parents helping raise my daughter I would have not become one of the 68% of residents who have graduated from high school.  However even though I was able to graduate high school, I received a very unexpected graduation present, which was my son Andre who is now 8 years old. Andre’s father filled the absence of Jessica father throughout her childhood and partially Andre’s childhood. However, Andre’s father Jordan got caught up in drug dealing and is now locked away in prison for armed robbery and possession of drugs. He was a great father to my children when he was around and always tried to help out with finances when he could but now I on my own.  My parents were very upset with the decisions that I have made and  less willing to help care for my new son because of the financial burden I caused them with Jessica.

I was very lucky that a couple months after the birth of my son I was granted a position in a warehouse to work the morning shift. I was very excited to receive this position this would allow me to try and provide for my family.  This shift works well with my schedule now because, I am able to work while my children are in school and off in time to pick them up from After School Program.  Although, even though it provides me some more quality time with my children I still struggle being able to provide them the basic necessities to live a healthy and active lifestyle.  Alone my average annual household income is around $18, 000. Below in the table is my average monthly spending.

Table 1. Average Monthly Spending

Rent & Utilities	$750
Food	$300
Car Payment & Gas	$300
Phone Bill	$150
Total Monthly Spending	$1,500

By looking at my average monthly spending this is realistically barely enough to get by month to month. This is where I run into this new dilemma.  With the passing of the winter Olympics my oldest child Jessica has become fascinated in playing in sports. She come home everyday and tells me about what she participates in during Physical Education (PE). She has expressed to me that in PE they have been playing tennis and she absolute loves it and wants to play after school. During the same week she watched this movie called “Blindside” which is a rag to riches type of story. Jessica now believes that could be her but by playing tennis. As a parent, I want her to participate in tennis after school because maybe it will steer her away the same path I went down when I was her age. But on the other hand I do not want to crush her dreams of become a professional/elite athlete. However, I did the research on what it would cost for her to play on club team and the location of the facilities.  The good thing is that the closest and most well kept facilities are about a 5-minute drive, which is at Oak Park Tennis Club. The Membership fee is $40 for single or $60 for family (Membership Fee, 2014).  As for equipment Jessica would also need proper clothing, racket, tennis balls. And in this case if I were to go through this to provide Jessica what she desires I would pay the family membership fee; that way Andre has equal opportunity to play if he wants too that would mean I would have to double the equipment and clothing.

Looking at my budget as it stands now I can’t afford this at all. I would have to find another job if I wanted to make this work which is nearly impossible because then I would have the added expense to find someone to watch my children during my second shift and on the weekends. Not only I would have to provide less nutritional meals to try and save money. But that is not ideal. I am their only provider, and I have to do what I think is right and will most benefit them. If I allow Jessica the opportunity try this new hobby, what if she doesn’t like it or she losses interest in the sport.  Then all that money I have worked hard for then just went to waste. This is where I need guidance as a parent.  I do not want to crush my daughter’s dreams. But I still want to make my daughter happy. And now I will have to explain to her my decision.

My explanation to Jessica:

Jessica, you are an inspiration to me.  At your age I wish I had the same dreams and goals that you have now.  I want to do my best to provide you and Andre a better life than I had growing up as a child. And to do that their comes sacrifice and compromise. I want you to understand that it very hard to become a professional athlete. In the movie “Blindside” it shows how Michael Oher’s overcame adversity but the family that helped him had the ability to provide him all the necessary needs and contacts to get him where he needs to be. Hunny, I don’t have the money or know the right people to talk to, to help become an elite athlete (Romagnoli & Wall,2012). I think from that movie the most important thing you need to know is that to be able to play competitive sport you need to do well in school.  You are a smart young lady and I think you have what it takes to achieve your dream. But, before I put you on a tennis club lets see how much you like it and you need to show me that if you want to do this you will be focused on school first. And when we have the time and I can save some money we can see about getting you a tennis racket and a couple of balls to practice. I am so sorry sweetie that we can’t put you on a tennis club right now but keep working hard and I will try to make your dream come true.

References:

“Membership Fee.” (2014). Stockton Tennis Club. Retrieved from http://stocktontennisclub.net/membership.html on March 23, 2014.

Romagnoli, A. & Wall, G. (2012). ‘I know I’m a good mom’: Young, low-income mothers’ experiences with risk perception, intensive parenting ideology and parenting education programmes. Health, Risk & Society: Routledge. Vol. 14 (3).

Simigiu, A. & Henter, R. (2013). Meta-Stereotypes Concerning Teen Pregnancy. International Conference of Scientific Paper.